Ballet was okay tonight: a lot of the usuals didn’t come, in advance of what my students would call our ‘hell week’: the week of rehearsals and anxieties before the performance. But we’ve got rehearsal on Sunday, then class on Monday, (and class on Thursday, though that hardly counts: very few of the beginning-beginners are performing, so that remains a technique and foundational class), then rehearsal on Friday instead of class, and rehearsal on Saturday before the performance… and the performance on Saturday.
Our pointe piece was a mess tonight. None of us was – ahem – on point. D kept messing up – which she normally almost never does – I think since K wasn’t there. And W – rather heavily pregnant at this point, though she’s got five months to go (I have no idea how she’s going to manage that, given her current size) – has been really worn out by the heat wave.
But we had it basically perfect on Monday, so that was a fluke, and it will be fine. The only part of that piece I’m actually worried about is the walk on and off: I still feel really awkward and gangly walking in pointes.
But it will be fine.
And if it isn’t, well. I don’t think the ballet police will come for us, and we will have had the cojones to dare it, which is enough.
Work is very frustrating right now: I am trying to organize the material finds of the archaic and classical periods, and my sources are not user friendly.
First of all, none of them are in English.
(Well, one or two are, but the rest are in German, Latin, Italian, or French. All of which I can read, with varying degrees of facility, but – to put it lightly – I’m better at reading English.)
Second, the most important of them date to the 19th century. Citation practices in that era were, shall we say, lax. And, to complicate things, references and terminologies have changed. For instance, Corfu is sometimes Corcyra, which can become important when you’re searching for specific items: which name are they tagged with in which source? And of course opinions have changed, so what Janus Six, in his 1885 Latin dissertation, dated to the early 6th century might now be dated to the late 4th, which means I have to triangulate between all these disparate sources and try to make some kind of sense.
Never mind – thirdly – that I am not in my element with material culture. Give me syntax and intertextuality any day over the fine distinctions between Protocorinthian and Attic aryballoi, or how a sima relates to an acroterion.
I started a series of notecards for categorizing everything, but it’s a messy process, given all of the above.
It is not going as well as one might wish.
Some of us might be feeling frustrated and annoyed, on top of being hot and distracted by dance – not to mention distracted by the possibility of getting lost in trip planning. We leave for Bulgaria in ten days.
And then the news from Munich, which I can’t even.
(Remember Berlin, from last spring’s class? He turned out to be from Munich, actually. So I worried about him today, though he’s probably in New York – all of our students end up in New York, working in fucking finance. Goddammit. thehashtagwastedpromise)
And then this Tim Kaine guy. I know nothing about him. The husband says he’s a White Guy [TM] and should be palatable to the center, which I am not super thrilled about: there’s a lot of leftist energy right now, and maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to capitalize on that.
But whatever. Obviously it couldn’t have been Elizabeth Warren: two women, pbbth. No fucking way. Especially not with both of them blond and ‘old’ [=unfuckable]. That would be Trump in a landslide.
(You realize, I trust, that those are not my opinions, but opinions I suspect the majority of my country-mates would end up landing on.)
And I’ll close with the [paraphrased] wise words of a dear friend of mine: fear is a motivator, to be sure, but not a good one. Be motivated by love and hope and happiness and excitement and wonder, and act in the world in reaction to those things. Not in reaction to fear.
Proops said essentially the same in his most recent podcast: the world is dark, yes, and always has been, and likely will continue to be for some time. So it is imperative that we cherish and nourish and live within what light we have: make that quilt, hug that grandchild, write poetry, paint canvases, sing out loud. Dance, of course.
Always dance, even if only in your head.
For my part, since the ironing board is already out and now unoccupied, and since I just started a new book (on which more another night, of course!), I think I’m due a quilt block or two before bed.
Let’s keep choosing love, my friends. Earth’s the right place for love / I don’t know where it’s likely to go better